This morning I was on an hour and a half long webex. This happens to me a lot and I'm not ashamed to say that when Webexes stretch on into infinity like that, I am not afraid to surf the internet.
We're going to see the latest Disney movie this weekend and the Trib panned it. So, I thought I'd pop over to this website I used to visit all the time, Pajiba. They do pretty good movie reviews and while I was sure they'd hate the movie, I'd probably be able to figure out if I'd be able to tolerate it.
I used to be what they call a "Pajabite" as I sort of hung out on the site and commented a lot. There were lots of regulars on this site. Many hilarious, some intolerable. But there was this one woman with the internet moniker, Alabama Pink.
She had leukemia. She was this beautiful, young woman. This hilarious, pop culture virtuoso. And so lovely, the mother of this three year old boy.
When I popped over today, I found out that she died. And I had to fake another call because I was totally overcome. I couldn't stop crying. I still can't. And I never met her!
When the site posted that she'd been diagnosed with leukemia, I sent her an email telling her that this random woman in Chicago was rooting for her. And I was. It's my nature to believe these things will work out. It just seems too cruel that the universe would take away this woman away from her son. When she was so fun, so funny, so in love with her family. And maybe because I discovered her on a pop culture site, a movie review site, I'd just sort of figured it would work out like in the movies. She'd, of course, survive it. She's been hanging around in the back of my mind for months now, and I was always sure she'd beat it.
God, it's so sad.
I'm no dummy and know that probably a lot of this bereavement comes from how much I related to her. I guess when anyone dies, it makes us confront our own mortality, our own realization that death comes when it comes, with no regard to the right time, the fair time.
Hours later, and she's still with me. I never met her. And I hadn't visited her blog in months. But, still, I'm going to miss her. My heart breaks for her family.
I'm going to go lie down next to my daughter and cry and be so grateful to be with her.