Monday, June 30, 2008
I wish just once a democratic blogger would grab the back of the candidate. I don't want us to be like the Bush Legion of Doom, but it would be nice it we could just say "hey, I have a little faith that Barack knows what he's doing."
Sigh - it'll never happen.
The Villagers are getting their knickers all up in a twist because of this (I'll let Atrios do the work for me). And it's ALL feigned outrage proffered in the interest of proving their own patriotism bona fides and underscoring a narrative that they've constructed. It's just.... exhausting.
Friday, June 27, 2008
And forget about our national discourse - we're so pleased with our ease of offense, that we get our hackles up as easily about Jamie Lynn Spears as we do about torture, illegal wars, dead soldiers. A common slip of the tongue and, man, ain't we fired up about what a right bastard you are?
Every pundit, politician, and barroom provocateur aspires to Josesph Welch. And if he were standing in front of us today, asking the question he asked Joseph McCarthy, the short answer would have to be no:
Sense of common decency? Who needs it when we have a sense of entitled righteous indignation!
*Edited to note that the irony of me being so offended by people being so offended hit me rather after I wrote this post...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I think I may put these down for posterity. But I'm a little afraid of the humorless feminist label. Of course, that particular label is just one of the many nefarious mechanisms of the man for keeping us down. Fuck it... maybe I'll start writing the stories down right here for my legions of adoring fans. Be a nice way to track their evolution.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Along about the same time I discovered The Simpsons, I was at Bootlegger's with my pals from the bar where we worked. It was late and we were the only people in the bar. We sat on barstools in a corner: I with my legs up on my friend Mike's lap, balancing an ashtray on my thighs; he purposely missing the ashtrays to put holes in my tights, which was hilarious at 2:00 am when you're hammered and 22. The DJ played "Under the Bridge" (a brand new single back then) and we all moved to the dance floor, swaying in a circle, singing along. It is an abidingly fond memory for me.
That song came on the radio this morning as I drove into work, and damned if it didn't just transport me back to that lonesome bar in the middle of Chicago. That moment feels relevant still, despite the fact that babies conceived that night are writing college admittance essays. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are, what? their Led Zeppelin?
The thing about aging is that it, of course, beats the alternative. That doesn't mean it doesn't suck. But it could suck worse. There's definitely some pluses. But, since the only comment I've gotten on this blog is from my pal, Jessica (AKA: the wonderful and amazing 32 year old Jessica): maybe now is a good time to talk about the things I learned through all this aging:
1. There comes an age when a woman is too old to fall asleep with her makeup on. That age is 30. Wash your face and moisturize every night.
2. Speaking of moisturizing... moisturize. As my mother told me, you're never too poor to afford a good moisturizer.
3. Keep your face OUT OF THE SUN!!!! And, for god's sake, wear sunscreen!
4. Don't try and keep at your 22 year old weight. Someone (Catherine Deneueve?) said "around 40 every woman has to choose between her face and her ass." Choose your face. More people will see it.
5. Don't wear at 39 what you wore at 29. You'll look silly.
6. Most importantly: stay in the world. You get old when you privilege the culture of your youth over that of the current youth. By that, I don't mean you ought to try and co-opt youth culture (see point 5), but don't cloister yourself in music from the 90s. Try and watch TV without feeling superior to it all. Enjoy the world. Care.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Michelle Obama, on the other hand (in the interest of full disclosure: Michelle Obama has recently ousted Starbuck from my number one girl crush position) has suffered the slights and indignities. She is smart and empathetic. And she is interested in making the world better instead of returning to Mayberry (especially since Mayberry would have sucked for her). So when she says she feels really proud of her country, it means something and it makes me feel really proud of my country too.
I really like Barack Obama a lot. I think he'll be a great president. But part of me thinks the biggest reason I like Barack so much is that I have faith and confidence in a man who marries a woman like Michelle Obama. It says a lot about who he is.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
It is the fluttering. There's something unnatural about fluttering. If I believed in God, I'd think it was part of His plan to demonstrate to us that evil exists. And it flutters.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Pretty cute, isn't she? She's turning into Beavis, though. Of an evening, there she is, lying in bed, sweetly close to sleep, thumb in mouth and she murmurs "Hey, Mommy?" And I say "Yes, my lovely girl?"
BUTTCRACK BOOTIE BOOGER FARTHEAD!!!!!
And then she cracks up.
So do I
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A bit before Madonna adopted the cone-bra, I was a freshman in college, sitting in my very first class. Words like "metaphor" and "paradigmatic" were flying around and I found myself saying "Romeo was a sappy loser" (harsh, but true). I was onto something. I stumbled across this casual, colloquial way of talking and it worked for me, man. I wrote papers this way, my grad-school application this way. It was my thing, and I was awesome at it.
Flash forward, and there's all this blogging and facebooking and my thing is the norm. Sucks to be me, though: so many people are way better at it than I ever was.
One of the reasons the Internet is awesome is that it's easy to find a million people just like you. Of course, that's one of the reasons why the Internet is teh suck too.
But I love it and still WANT IN, goddammit.
Monday, June 9, 2008
I think Helo is the 12th cylon.
That is all