Blogging is one of the most self-indulgent activities out there. I mean, do I really have so much interesting stuff to say that I expect people to read and be amazed at my perspicacity and cunning use of English like four or five times a day?
I wish. That would be great. But I doubt it.
But, like I say, these thoughts bounce around inside my head and if I don't force myself to address and examine them in SOME way, I am led towards bad behavior. And by this I don't mean drinking and smoking (I'll find my ways to those no matter how expressive I am). I mean I get judgey as a motherfucker.
Before this blog, I had several abortive attempts at journaling. Ain't I sensitive? But keeping a journal is a tricky business - I mean, who are you writing for? You can just blather on indiscriminately and, unless you're Ann Rice or TS Eliot (yeah, I just put them in the same sentence) no one will ever read it. And so that's what I did in my journals: I blathered on indiscriminately.
But with a blog, even if no one is reading it, there's a chance someone will. So it forces me to organize my thoughts... at least a bit. It's a discipline and a therapy, and I've grown to depend on it a little.
So irrespective of its popularity - this little blog is what I use to exhume all sorts of thoughts and put them up against an imaginary arguer. I find that since I've started this, I'm calmer and less inclined to judgmental asshattery.
So, I got that going for me.