First the personal. I was reading one of my favorite bloggers, a brilliant, hilarious guy. A blogger with a proud sense of decency. And I came across a post in which he lets loose with heaving amounts of vitriol ostensibly directed at Disney (which I can get behind) but really against People Who Are Not New Yorkers. To wit:
I had noticed the three slightly mousy middle-aged women decked out in full Dress Barn gear discreetly craning their necks in our direction since we first sat down.
Ah, you can strive to be as supercilious a non-native New Yorker, but you will fail (unless you're French... the French are good at it)
A few days later, I engaged in a wee bit of Facebook back and forth with a couple of (I assume) non-native New Yorkers which resulted in me learning that there are lots of cool places in New York, but New Yorkers don't take tourists there. Translation: we are the coolest city in the world, but you'll have to take our word for it because we do not descend among the great unwashed (AKA: midwesterners).
Now let's imagine you're waiting for luggage at O'Hare (and, trust me, if you've checked a bag, you will be WAITING for your luggage at O'Hare). You may ask the man next to you about some fun things to do at night in Chicago. As you wait for your luggage (and wait and wait and wait) you'll notice that every resident of the city will begin chiming in. You should go HERE for pizza! Now, they should go THERE! Goodman totally rocks. Steppenwolf is better. Check out The Bean! Oh, you gotta do the architecture tour. And, above all else, Drink All Night.
Due to our civic Jan syndrome, we are eager to show you how awesome our city is. We WANT you to go back to Battle Creek and tell your friends how great Chicago is (and, like, way better than New York, guys!).
(And, not for nothing, didn't we look good on November 4th?
)New York is a great city. It's an exciting city. Tina Fey broadcasts out of there. Jon Stewart is there. That said, look out, New York. We'll tell you where the good restaurants are and won't make fun of your clothes. And if Oprah's there? We'll all gawk together!
