Another quick post...

Ahhhh, John McCain: thinks his wife is a c*nt and that all Hillary supporters are dumb as a box of rocks. Got that woman vote LOCKED up!

Day Late Dollar Short

... I'm pushing 40. Hard. So it might not be so awful that I'm always about two (three?) years late in the pop culture wars. But I recently discovered Art Brut, whom I love. Hard. How do you not love a band that starts a song: "People in love/ Lie around and get fat"? I love this band.

Here's their hit. Remember, this IS his singing voice. That's not irony. They're just talking to the kids...

Quoting Kos

I was JUST thinking this:

... stole a glimpse at the Cubs-Pirates score. Cubs won! But uh oh, Zambrano got hammered again. Like a good Cubs fan, I'm starting to panic. See? There's little difference between Cubs fans and Democrats. Neither of us are used to winning. And one bad poll/bad outing by your star pitcher, and we start assuming the worst.

Laney's Poem

Laney wrote a poem on our walk today. It went like this:

The beautiful blue sky turns into dashing gloom
When the sun turns into the moon
The beautiful sun turns into the dashing moon
When the blue sky turns into gloom

At the risk of being significantly less poetic than my five year old: I shit you not. Laney made all that up!

Here's a nifty little widget...

I thought this was really cool!

Surgery

So, I have to have a wee surgery to remove my ginormous fibroid. It's no big deal and shouldn't lay me up for too long. What blows me away, though, is the bureaucracy. I mean, if my wee little surgery paid for by my excellent insurance plan involves this Kafkaesque string of red tape, what's it like for people who are really sick? American health care is teh suck, indeed.

Convention Memories

I got to go to the DNC when it was in Chicago back in '96. I was in the lobby of the United Center and James Carville walked by. I said "Hey! James Carville!" He turned around and gave me a really shitty "no duh" look. James Carville is kind of a douche, though. I mean, one assumes he's married to Mary Matalin on purpose.

Other than that it was a lot of fun... but I really wish I could go to the one in Denver. I bet that'll be a blast!

Don't Panic

The Bon Family motto comes from Douglas Adams: Don't Panic. Donbon had a great idea for the Obama campaign: they should start selling Obama "Don't Panic" Towels. I would totally buy one.

I found out today that I have a 16" softball attached to my uterus (for any non-Chicagoans, this is a softball that's 16" around. Glad to help). It's a common occurrence, but my 39 year record of no hospitalizations will be ending. Since this is American health care, I can safely surmise that my record will only be dented by a day (or halfday).

And I won't panic.

Return to Normalcy

Democrats are panicking.... ahhhh. Back to normal!

Visiting the good doctor tomorrow. I bet he tells me I have to have my first surgery ever. I sort of hope he does. Everytime I go to hospitals I think how awesome it would be to lie in bed for a day and watch TV. I wish I could do that without, you know, being sick or something.

Back to the rules...

It started in 2001. Hack Doctor urged us to get ourselves checked out fertility-wise. We were told all was fine and ours was a mysterious infertility. Leery of the drugs and uncertainty of IVF, we kicked off the adoption process immediately. We brought our beautiful, perfect Laney home in 2005. By 2007, our family felt settled and we were ready to revisit the fertility issue. I returned to Hack Doctor. She told me that if I wanted to get pregnant, we'd have to pursue an aggressive IVF-y route. I wonder how big this thing in me was by August, 2007…

Breaking the one rule...

I switched doctors since it was always such a pain to get to my old one. I'd been going to her for most of my 30s and thought she was OK. She was with me all through the fertility issues. But, I found someone more conveniently located and then promptly discovered that I have a 10 cm (that's right TEN centimeter) fibroid on my uterus which might (emphasis on "might") have been the CAUSE of all the fertility issues. I don't know what to do about any of this.

Laney's my girl, my only girl, my heart, my life and my world and the only reason I have her is because I couldn't get pregnant. The thought of her NOT being my daughter is unfathomable. She's part of me. Being Laney's mother is the greatest thing I've ever gotten to do. I mean, look at this kid:

On the other hand, I spent YEARS feeling like I had fundamentally failed as a woman. And, on the third hand, there is a foreign entity in my body that is NOT supposed to be there and that's been there for a while and no one fucking noticed. I am enraged enough to break my only blogpost rule. And confused. I'm just not sure what to make of all this stuff which I probably shouldn't be so public about anyway.

Antichrist

I was really worried that my vote for Barack Obama would signal Armageddon. Now I can scratch THAT off my list of things to worry about.

I hope this goes viral

A word on the Jolie-Pitts

The only thing that's stopped us from adopting another baby is money. If we had the resources that Brangelina has, we'd adopt a passel of kids too. It strikes me as callous and facile to make assumptions about their commitment to their family. I don't know if they're a couple of narcissists or not. What I do know is I'd be doing the same thing they are if I could. Personally, and from my position as an adoptive parent, I say good on them.

Also, Mia Farrow has 15 kids… why is she free from the mocking?

A thought...

...post the 2008 User Forum (annual work thing). If you are a grown man, a professional man, you can afford a collar. Put one on. There is NO such thing as a dressy tee shirt.

That is all.

My Ongoing Love Affair with Diet Pepsi

I know it's bad for me. I should drink water all day. It'd make me pure, re-virginize me. My skin would glow. Also, all that plastic really plucks at the environmentalist guilt strings. But, to paraphrase Lorelei Gilmore, if I could make love to a cold beverage, it would be a 20 oz bottle of Diet Pepsi. If I had to choose between my husband and Diet Pepsi, I'd probably choose my husband... but it would be close and predicated on the availability of Diet Coke. I just can't quit it. I'm going downstairs for a Diet Pepsi.