Thursday, November 6, 2014


I have two of my sisters-in-law much on my mind.  Two of my sisters-in-law and cancer. One of them died a year ago.  One of them has gone through hell, but is alive, is here with us.

I loved Debbie so much and wish so hard that I could change the way of the world and have her here to enjoy her amazing children, to have the great joy of her beautiful grandsons.  I hate that her grandchildren won't know her almost as much as I hate that my own daughter never knew her grandfather.  It makes me angry.  It rears up and makes me angry.  It's not fair.

Debbie was so warm, so lovely.  My heart aches for her children and for my husband and her other brothers and sister.  My heart aches for all the people who knew and loved Debbie. And there are so, so many of them.

I love Jennifer so much and wish so hard that I could take away all the horrible stuff she's suffered through this year.  She's such a wonderful partner to my brother, and such an amazing mother to her three children. I'm so glad she's here.  I'm so happy she gets to watch them grow up. And, I'm so glad that on my trips to Franklin, I'll get to sit on comfy couches and laugh with her.  Jennifer has the BEST laugh, and she's so quick to it.  She has one of those laughs that make you feel like everything is OK, one of those laughs that bring you right in.

Both such mighty women, such wonderful mothers.  Both with three children - two girls and a boy; both so lovely; both such wonderful sisters to me.

I struggle mightily here with tenses. One in the present, one in the past.

But what else is there to do?  Mourn the sister I lost, celebrate the sister I have.  Share in the huge communities that love both these women. Wish so hard that I could use present tense with both of them.  Wish so hard I could ease the suffering of all who love them.

Debbie, I miss you so much.  Jennifer, I'm so happy I'll get to see you soon.

I love you both.