Thursday, November 27, 2014

A Thanksgiving Post

A few weeks ago, I went outside and found my car pinned between two other cars. Like this:

It was super annoying. I am not thankful for this.  In a nutshell, the owner of the car behind slammed into mine, pinning me between her car and the one in front, and then, presumably, stumbled home.  

The driver's dad or brother or friend or something came walking out while a cop was writing the police report and tickets.  The dad or brother or friend or something assessed the situation and said:

I don't see the problem here

You guys, this has been the most convenient anecdotal metaphor of my life.  I have pulled it out at least three times since it happened.  A developer at work declines an enhancement and because he doesn't see the problem here.  My daughter doesn't want to do her homework and she doesn't see the problem here.  Every 28 hours a black man is killed by some authority figure and we don't see the problem here.

I didn't mean to get heavy.  It's Thanksgiving.  I have my fat pants on already.  But, how wonderful is was to be gifted by some rando with such an awesome metaphor.  You can use it if you want.  It's my Thanksgiving gift to you.

Here are some other things: I am thankful for husband who puts up with me when I'm crazy and who makes me laugh and who cleans the bathrooms.  I am thankful for my daughter who is the light of my life and who does her homework mostly without complaint and who is strong and healthy and absolutely beautiful.   

I am thankful for my mother who came to visit and make Thanksgiving seem so much more festive.  I am thankful for my brother and my sister-in-law, Jennifer, who doesn't have cancer anymore and that is something to be so so so very thankful for.

And I am thankful for my in-laws because they are wonderful.  Isn't it just the greatest to have in-laws you like?  I was told by the pop culture I consume that in-laws would be crazy and intrusive.  They aren't.  My Iowa family (this includes the ones who live in Illinois) are so much damn fun.

I am thankful for my neighbors, Michael and Jonathan, because they are so good to us and so much fun to be around.

I am thankful for my virtual friend, George.  I love George!  Are you friends with him?  You should find him on Facebook and friend him up because he's wonderful, despite how he doesn't like Happy Endings (this is his only flaw).

I am thankful for all the friends I have on-line that I don't know in real life.  Jill and Nan and Justin!  If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't know you at all.  This is so much better.

I am thankful for my Cousin Honey,  Shawn, who emails with me every day and introduces me to her cool friends and all the great books she reads and is my very best friend.

I am thankful for Jessica who Skypes with me every day and makes me laugh so hard and who is my very best friend.  This works.

Jeanne and Claire, I am so thankful that I have you guys and will get to decompress over wine and apps with you on Saturday.  You are my very best friends. 

I am thankful for my friends IRL and Virtual.  Larry you gave me a shout out and here's one to you.  You make me smarter with the stuff you say.  Plus I really love it when you sing.  I'll send you a dollar for a video of you singing Almost Like Being in Love.

Dan, thanks for all the theater and all the conversation.  Have I mentioned that I love you a lot? I do!

I am thankful for this shitty blog which gives me a place to say what I think because otherwise it would spill out and I would start talking about terrible and disappointing democrats on conference calls.

I am thankful for my job because I like it and they pay me.

I am thankful for my stinky dogs because they are so cute.  Bunker hugs me.  For real.

I have a good life.  I am thankful for it.  And you, even if I didn't mention you by name.  Thanks for being you.  Unless you're Alison Grimes. She's the worst.