The Advent Wreath

To indicate how differently time passes as an adult, I present the Advent Wreath. For the four Sundays before Christmas, a different candle is lit.  Nowadays, the four weeks before Christmas pass by in a flash.  But when I was a kid, it took for-fucking-ever to get those damn candles lit. The wreath taunted you, tantalized you. Christmas was getting closer... but it took SO long.

This election feels like that.  It feels like we've been waiting so long, and it's so tantalizingly close.  Only, the Advent Wreath promised Christmas.  You knew it would be Christmas after those four candles were lit.  For this election, we either get Christmas.  Or we get, what?  The biggest disappointment of my life.  As though I'm 8 and expecting an E-Z Bake Oven and instead get a kick in the face, a fart in a box, a pen.  I don't know...

But I may be cracking up here. 

Electoral College

I appreciate that the press needs to feed the beast in order to function. It behooves them for the presidential race to seem really close. But, let's think about this: In 1980, Ronald Reagan won with 50.7% of the popular vote. Of course, that 50.7% represented 489 electoral votes, leaving 49 for poor Jimmy Carter. Interesting how these landslides work, huh? I'm saying it again: Obama gets over 300 EV. And I'm with my friend Big Burt: McCain concedes before the Alaska votes are in.

And if you're really freaking out, send Barack some dough. It makes you feel better.