Thursday, February 18, 2010

Why It's Not Pitiful To Spend Your Whole Day Looking Forward to Watching Lost on Hulu

Oh, you guys, it's getting to the point where I'm spending most of my days looking forward to the last waking hour and a half of the day because that's when I have a drink and watch Lost. This makes it sound like I have a really miserable life. Like, I'm walking around, groaning, thinking "8 hours to bourbon and Lost!" Which, well, sometimes, I am. But, that doesn't mean I'm not a generally cheery person. Like, at work, I'm getting BEAT UP with support requests. Every hour something else pops into my in box. But one of the benefits of doing the same job for ten years is that I can handle almost all of them, and the ones I can't I know who to ask. Besides almost all my customers know how much I hate the phone now so it almost never rings anymore. (me and Patrick Stewart both hate the phone - we should be best friends).

And, sure, my Wii Fit Plus still claims I'm old and fat, but on two different occasions on two different days two different men said to me "Girl, you're pretty" and it was only creepy once.

And, yeah, I did hit a bad patch this afternoon while working on my book (which is set in 1991) because I realized that 1991 is to 1965 what 2010 is to 1984 and that did more to make me feel old than any bullshit Wii Fit Plus body test because in 1991, 1965 was a loooooong time ago. But 1984 was just a few years back. That said, the book is still coming along nicely.

Of course, f I do have this wretched horrible commute. But it gives me time to have deep conversations with Laney like the one we had on the way home tonight. We'd just got done singing that Shel Silverstein song about Noah and the Unicorn (green alligators and long necked geese...) and...

She said: What's that song about?
And I said: Noah. Have I never told you about Noah?
And she said: No
[so I told her]
And she said: is that true?
And I said: No, it's like a folk story
And she said: Oh, you're just saying that because you don't believe in God.
And I said: Nuh uh!
And she said: Uh huh!
And I said: Look, tons of people who DO believe in God don't think the story of Noah really happened.
And she said: Really?
And I said: Yes, they accept it as something that has meaning outside literal truth
And she said: Well, how do you know it's not true?
And I said: Well, one boat couldn't hold two of all the animals in the world. I mean, think of the dogs alone! You've got beagles and labradors and chihuahuas and great danes
And she said: I like beagles and labradors and chihuahuas
And I said: What about the great danes?
And she said: What if there was more than one boat?
And I said: Like an armada of arks?
And she said: What's an armada?

But I didn't answer because i was too busy thinking that Ark Armada is the GREATEST BAND NAME EVER.

Anyway, Laney's asleep dreaming of an Ark Armada and I'm regretting that I never got the band together and should be watching Lost and having a drink, but instead I'm having a drink and writing on this little bloggity. And I'm going to stop that now. And watch Lost. And, dammit, I'm not going to forget about the four toed collapsed statue. Or the damn polar bears.


Namaste and good luck.