Saturday, July 11, 2009

Away We Go: An Open Letter

Dear Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida -

An adopted child is not a consolation prize. When you adopt a child, you don't sit around grieving your lack of a real baby unless you are a really shitty parent. If you've adopted a child, especially if you've adopted FIVE children, and you're not too busy raising those children to go out drinking every night to sublimate your feelings of failure because you couldn't have real kids, you are an unbelievably super shitty parent. Finally, when you adopt a child, you officially "have" children. Real ones.

Other than that, excellent film.

Yours,
MegBon, adoptive parent

Edited to add: This is an issue that's so near and dear to my heart. I wish people would understand that adoption is not some act of generosity made by sad people who can't have their "own kids." I wish people could get their heads wrapped around the fact that people adopt kids for exactly the same reason that lots of people give birth to them: you want a family. That's it. That's the only reason. There's nothing mysterious about it at all. I'm so disappointed that this otherwise lovely movie took that horrible misstep. I may write a real letter to Dave and Vendela and let them know that I love my daughter as much as they love their kid.