Back in 2008 I hated Hillary Clinton. I couldn't understand how anyone could like her when Barack Obama was an option. I still love Barack Obama. I can't regret my vote, but I think now that I was pretty unfair to Hillary Clinton.
Here's a quick late-night anecdote about Hillary. To be fair, this is only based on my recollections and were it not after 11:00 pm, I'd probably do a little more work to dig up the clips. But it's late, I'm old, and I'm confident my recollections here are correct.
During the '08 democratic primary, Jon Stewart ran a little clip about how the two democratic candidates managed the grueling process of campaigning for president. Barack Obama said that he stayed sharp by working out every morning and playing basketball. He was young and sharp and ready to take all comers. Hillary answered the same question by saying "hot sauce."
I thought, "God, she's so lame!" which was the response intended by The Daily Show producers.
Up here in 2016, Hillary was being interviewed on a black radio program and was asked about something she kept in her purse all the time and she said "hot sauce.' The interviewers weren't having it and asked if she were pandering. Hillary joked "is it working?"
I ask you: do you really think Hillary knew that Beyonce had recently taken the world by storm with "hot sauce in my bag. Swag." Really? The 68 yr old lady was hip enough to know current Beyonce lyrics?
I don't think so - she does like hot sauce for a wake up. She said so in 2008. And the "is it working" was a dumb joke. All her jokes should come from writers. Hillary is much better at doing a job than she is in running for one. You know who'd agree with that assessment? Hillary Rodham Clinton.
But this is how it is for Hillary. Whatever she says is interpreted in its most nefarious light because, obvy, it's Hillary who's just "LIAR (FART NOISE) PANDER BEAR ASSHOLE LIAR WALL STREET LIAR POOP!"
I gave Hillary a little money tonight which is probably more meaningful than this dumb blogpost. But, as one of her supporters (and there are lots and lots of us, no matter what Michael Moore and all those Berners on Twitter would have you believe) that she's still standing after that such a long history where everything she says and does is interpreted in the narrowest, least generous way possible, we are reminded us of how tough and resilient she is.
This is the person I want running the ship: someone who can take a punch without losing focus. She is, to use a phrase from the last decade, a goddamn BAMF. And if you're still sitting there, so intractably attached to your idea of who she is that you're willing to throw your vote to a candidate who is no more than an orange meatsack of ego and misplaced rage, then I just don't even know what to say to you.
Except this blogpost and more like them. I'm trying to convince you. Don't risk an apocalypse.