Monday, February 23, 2015

Chicago is Not as Nice in Winter as Hogwarts

I should not complain about the cold. It's Chicago.  It's winter.  It's cold.

But I have words!  I have reasons and words!  I have things to say.  And this is MY blog.  Dammit.

I just went out to bring my recycling bin back to our back porch and it's gone.  I dragged the damn thing out this morning when it was A DEGREE outside (with windchill of eleventy-million and twelve below) and almost got frostbite on my thumb because I am a good goddamn citizen.  But now I don't have a recycling bin because SOMEONE TOOK IT AWAY.  WHO DOES THAT?!?!   I threw my recycling into the regular trash.

Why,  you may be wondering, did I almost get frostbite?  Well, I'll tell you.  My left glove has a hole in the thumb.  You know what you can't buy in Chicago in February?  Gloves.  You can buy a bikini at Target, but you can't buy gloves.   A bikini.  

Like I could put a bikini on anyway.  All I want to do is lie under a blanket and eat things.  

And I know - it's all a matter of attitude.  I should embrace the wild beauty of Chicago's winter.  

But my gloves have holes in them and some asshole stole my recycle bin and and and and...

I'm going to get into a bath with a bourbon.  I'll get out in April.  Otherwise:

Stupid winter.