Tuesday, August 26, 2014

That's Actually Miss Chanandler Bong

Let's talk, white people.

Likely like you, I am a white person.  I am so white sometimes I find myself thinking, "Could I be any whiter?"  This is because  I am so white I phrase my rhetorical questions a la Chandler Bing.   I am old and white.  I was brought up among white people.  I am married to a white person.  Many of my close friends are white people.  My daughter is a white person.  My white person bona fides are within expected parameters.  I really like Friends.  I am one of your people.  This is what we're like:

As a fellow white person, I'm reaching out to beg you, for the love of all that is good and holy on earth, please stop sharing posts on social media of black people scolding other black people for their behavior.  

You are not the intended audience when a black person writes a post or makes a video blaming black bad actors for increasing American systemic inequality.  When Bill Cosby scolded black people at that NAACP meeting a million years ago he was talking to other black people.  Not. You.  This is why he made that speech at an NAACP meeting and not while accepting an Emmy on behalf of Courtney Cox.* You are not part of this discussion.

Your opinion on the level of responsibility the sagginess of young black men's pants bears for self-evident racial inequality in this country is moo.

The prime directive for white people in discussions of racism is to quiet down and listen to people of color because they know more than we do, my fellow Nillas.  Just:

So when you get the urge to hide behind a video or baldly cobbled together post by some black person who is clearly not talking to you in order to accuse black people for being more responsible for racism in America than white people, you should probably do this instead.

That was funny, right?  No?  You didn't care for Friends.  Fine.

*Courtney Cox never won an Emmy for Friends.