Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Getting Giffy Post-Guardians of the Galaxy

Just got back from Guardians of the Galaxy.  Don't worry - I loved it as much as everyone else did.

I long for a world in which We Are Groot

But I had this thought that Gamora's character could just as easily have been our way in instead of Quill, right?  

This is often what I feel like on conference calls

I mean, who the hell doesn't adore Chris Pratt?  Let me join the internet legion declaring him the new J. Law in that he's totally charming and hilarious and genuine.  

This is often what I do when I'm on conference calls

And also, well:

I may find myself thinking of this during my next conference call
But Gamora really could have been the main character, right?  Instead of the love interest.  I'm not saying she should have been because, as I think I've made clear, I really love Chris Pratt.

Mine too, Chris Pratt.  Mine too.
But Gamora was complex enough, with an interesting enough backstory, and played by the equally foxy and badass Zoe Saldana, to have been the central character  But then I realized, comic book movies today being what they are, had Gamora been the main character, at some point we'd either have seen or heard about her being raped, right? It seems almost to go without saying.

So, Marvel, I know you're planning on a female-led superhero movie.

Oh, god, I wanted to be her SO BAD!

But, I'm begging you, please DON'T MAKE HER RAPE INTO A PLOT POINT!!!!!

Cuz it's just so done to death
And will make all the feminists on the internet really mad.

We're coming for you, motherfuckers!
Addendum, just to be clear: I am not making a case for Gamora as the lead in Guardians of the Galaxy.  I think the movie was just great the way it was.   I just was led into a thought about how it seems that so much pop culture thinks the only motivation a girl could have is rape.  Or babies.  Or gettin' a man. Marvel is turning into the fount (font?) of movie fun. I just really hope they can free themselves of this particularly pernicious cinematic trope.