|Edited to Add: GIFs!!!|
I am on the verge of writing the kind of blogpost that would, had someone else written it, annoy the shit out of me. Following, I am going to write about some change I made in my life with an easily recognizably smug implication you should all make the same inspirational change. If this were a video it would be on Upworthy with some horrible click-baity title like "You Won't Believe the One Change She Made to Make a Marvelous Life. Brought to you by Pantene." If this were a listicle it would have one entry on Buzzfeed and feature an entertaining gif from something like The Muppets or Mary Tyler Moore.
But look, before I start writing this let me warn you: you should probably not take my advice. I am a very flawed person. I consume far too much sugar, alcohol and diet soda. I watch terrible shows on television but will judge you harshly if you admit to being a Seth McFarlane fan. I think unkind things about perfectly nice people all the time. I get irrationally angry at drivers who fail to use turn signals and feel real passionate hatred for people who drive slow in the left lane. I often think you're talking about me because I am, at heart, a narcissist. I eat dinner in front of Simpsons reruns with my daughter instead of at the table. I haven't gotten a haircut in six months because I hate the way I look in the mirror at the salon, which means barring ponytail holders I look like a sister wife. I wear shorts to work. I get angry with the dog at night when he snores and wake him up by swatting him on the ass, which hurts his feelings. I wash my sheets more than my daughter's because she has a loft bed and it's a huge pain to get them down. I don't make her get her own goddamn sheets down because that's kind of a lot of work too and it's just easier to pretend that she's not that dirty. I'm pretty lazy. I Facebook too much. I weigh a solid 20 pounds more than I ought to. I cannot figure out Twitter. I cry all the time even though I'm not particularly sad, which I believe annoys more than amuses the people I love.
I am not a fount of wisdom. To wit: I think I maybe should have said "I'm not a font of wisdom," but I'm not going to look it up, and the Internet is Right There. (see above: lazy)
|Is this movie good or overrated? I can't remember...|
I made a decision recently to start saying "yes" more. (I know. I hate myself for writing it too.) I realized lately that I'd gotten really good at making excuses not to do things. The weather is super shitty. Don works nights so I have to get a sitter, and there's not always one to get. Besides, we're always broke so who can afford dinner and a sitter? It's hard to find parking. I don't want to go alone. There's something good on TV. I'm almost to the end of this book. I need to clean the floors. There's always a reason not to do things.
But it had gotten to the point where my primary social contact was Laney. And, y'all, she is awesome, but she is 11. So, I decided that when I was invited to do things, I would start at the default position of "yes," to see if I could get myself out of the house.
Here's the change: when something came up (an invitation, an event), rather then starting to think about why I couldn't go, I'd immediately begin to work up a plan for making it work. It was kind of a switch. I'd developed a pretty strong polite regrets muscle; working that into an enthusiastic acceptance muscle took a little work.
But it's been rewarding. I'm feeling a little less like a loser (just a little - I mean if you'd detailed all your faults like I just did, you'd probably still feel a little like a loser). I've had some pleasant conversations and seen some good shows and gotten myself out just a little.
I'm told by people who know that social lives get easier when kids get older. Laney's getting older. So this is probably a normal part of the family evolution. Still. It's nice to get out every now and again, you know?
Anyone doing anything good next weekend?
|Always good to go out with a swearing Amy Poehler|