Hi, guys. It's been a while, but I got something to say. Which is:
As you settle into the middle part of life, weird, unexpected things will happen which make you realize that you are not 26 anymore. Like your back hurts a lot. And you suddenly notice this one long hair growing out of your chin. Seriously, you guys! It was like three inches long! And, EVERYTHING makes you fat. Aging is gross. But I have hope that old age will be better. Forty years from now, I plan to be walking around with bright pink lipstick outside of my lipline and an askew wig. And I bet I'll think I look fucking amazing.
Wait... where was I?
Oh yeah. There's this one hallmark of aging that I'm calling for an end to and I am preaching to all my mid-life homies out there. It is time to stop complaining about how entitled and spoiled Gen Y or the Millennials or whatever you want to call them is. Just stop. There has not been a generation born to man which has not seemed spoiled and entitled to the generation that came before. When you had long hair and wore flannel shirts and were boring everyone to tears by telling them how much more authentic Mother Love Bone was than Pearl Jam, there was some Boomer bitching to his friends about how spoiled and entitled you were.
Let's just stop it. Let's just agree that while youth may tend toward callow and solipsistic, we bitch about them because we are jealous and would, in a New York second, trade our work ethic and finely honed resumes in for flat stomachs and hangover-free all night benders. Let's stop bitching about the kids. Mother Love Bone would never have relied on such a trite and obvious thematic convention.