Thursday, June 4, 2009

Two Entirely Unrelated Posts. In One!

Post One:

Before I left work today, I made a stop in the ladies' to adjust my makeup and noticed that I was wearing two different earrings. Not two slightly different earrings. Two radically different earrings. Different lengths, different colors, different. All day I walked around like that.

A couple of days ago, during intermission for the Goodman's Rock and Roll (which, by the way, was reaaaaalllllyyyyyy good), I discovered that I had a streak of purple eye shadow (no doubt picked up on the bottom of my purse) running straight down the bridge of my nose.

Sigh. There are women out there who put makeup on their faces where it's meant to be, and it stays there all day. There are women who manage to consume food without getting any on their person. There are women who wear matching shoes, socks, and earrings every day. I suspect these women may even match their bra to their panties. I, on the other hand, am usually sporting some foreign substance on my person of which I am entirely and embarrassingly unaware. And my hair probably looks stupid. And I probably have a bra strap showing. I'm starting to think that the efforts I put forth trying to make a nice appearance are pointless. I'm starting to think that shaving my head and walking around in a bathrobe all day is that way to go. I think I could make that look work for me. I'll keep hard candy in my pockets for the kids. And get more cats.

Post Two:

Once I got home, I decided to engage in another exercise in futility and worked out. I put on an old episode of Star Trek while I was doing that. Y'all know I love Star Trek with the kind of intense fondness normally reserved for aged grandparents and beloved childhood pets. During the penultimate scene of the episode (which was, if you're keeping score, The Hunted), Picard, Data, Worf and Troi are listening bemusedly while an increasingly desperate government official repeats "It was the will of the people!" And Troi looks at them like they're nuts. Or, more to the point, like they're weak, wimpy, morally suspect and wrong.

You know, Star Trek was so corny and pie-eyed. Which is why I love it. I'm partial to corny and pie-eyed myself . But also, they sometimes tackled stuff that we could stand to think about from time to time.

Because, as I've mentioned before, it's not the sole duty of government to do the will of the people; it's also supposed to protect the rights of the minority. And we (by "we," I mean "conservative fuckwits") forget that all the time. They need is to get that look from Troi: