Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Acting and Reacting

When I was in the UK last week, a male friend of mine asked me what I thought about the new  upskirt photo law making its way through Parliament. I told him I thought it was great and that I hoped all those creepy motherfuckers got ticketed past their ability to pay for their ISP. He shrugged and said "I just don't get why the women don't just give him a slap on the face and walk away."

I'm gonna let The Vixen respond for me. 


I loved that loud messy queen and I loved her especially in the reunion show when all the queens were dissecting her following a fight with Eureka she said "Everyone's telling me how to react and no one's telling her how to act."

Oh, that is concise and well-said, n'est-ce pas?

Before we start instructing someone on how they ought to react, first let's ask ourselves "Do I have the necessary context for an informed opinion?" If it's a matter of groping, catcalling, upskirt photos, etc and you are a man, gurl, trust me: you don't. There are some women who are up to the task of calling it out (like The Vixen!), slapping the groper's hand away and there are some who aren't. Speaking personally, I hate it when men put their hands on me, say gross things to me, etc., and have for almost 40 years (gentlemen, for context, be advised that this tends to start for girls around 10 or 11, or, if they're people of color, earlier). I don't feel secure or strong enough to slap his hand away or call him out. I shrink and disappear into myself and am only eager to get the fuck away.

A story: I was walking down the street with Laney when she was 11 and we were holding hands. A carful of dudes catcalled us because they thought we were a lesbian couple. This happened four years ago and I still wonder if I reacted right.

But you know what, fuck that! My reaction isn't the point - their action is. And that's all I'm willing to discuss anymore.

Because, ladies, we all learned what happens when we pay more attention to our reaction than their actions, right?

[INSERT GIF OF DONALD FUCKING TRUMP DOING OR SAYING SOMETHING SEXIST AND HORRIBLE BUT I'M NOT GOING TO PUT ONE HERE BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO SEE HIS STUPID FUCKING FACE]    

Remember, when confronted with bad behavior, let's all concern ourselves more with the ACTION rather than the REACTION. Be like The Vixen. I kind of love her.