We are still more than a year away from the election and the stupid has already gotten so thick, I can hardly stand it. But I'm calling an end to one piece of the stupid now.
Donald Trump will never be president of the United States.
I know. I know. It isn't impossible, per se. Nothing that does not violate the laws of physics and nature is impossible. But it is extremely unlikely. It is less likely than President Palin, and that is extremely fucking unlikely.
Please, let's stop quaking at the specter of how totally embarrassing it's gonna be when Trump refuses to attend the G8 until President Hollande publicly states that Ivanka Trump is hotter than Hollande's wife or mistress (ladyfriend? partner? The French are so sophisticated about les affaires des coeurs!). Instead, let's start quaking at the really scary stuff.
As Albert Burneko so ably laid out over in the Gawkerverse today, the GOP is spread out over Business-y Libertarians (by the way, I know who John Galt is: he's that asshole at the party who never chips in for beer and also never fucking SHUTS UP) and the Megachurch Jesus people (not your normal Christian, I'm talking about the one who believes that the best way to show Jesus how much you love him is to loudly yell at all the whores and homos that Jesus doesn't love them, and then wait for the Jesus money to start flowing. Amen.). And that makes for a splintered, fractured party.
They have just the one cause they can all rally behind: all the babies need to stay inside of the mommies from the moment the daddies put their penises inside the mommies until the babies want to come out.
I doubt any of the GOP candidates care about abortion one way or another, the whole thing is just a damn front to cover up the fact that they have nothing else to offer as a party - except giving all the money to rich people and moar war for everyone!!!
And so they lie. They lie and say that Planned Parenthood profits off harvested organs. They lie and say that abortion causes breast cancer. They lie and say that abortion causes infertility. They lie and say most women regret abortion. They lie and they lie and they lie and they lie.
And they get away with it!
I'm not worried about President Trump. But I am worried that my daughter is going to grow into a woman in a country without safe, legal abortion. And, oh my god, that is SO STUPID.
But it's also very serious.
I'm going to spend this godawful, long, facacta, stupid stupid stupid election season making sure I call out every goddamn dirty lie those soulless, cynical power-brokers on the right make about abortion.
I hope you do too.