Am I being paranoid? Perhaps Fairuza Balk from the seminal 90s movie The Craft could answer for me.
God, I loved that movie. Fairuza Balk is so 2018 mood up there, isn't she? Let's do another one. Fairuza Balk as 2019 mood:
AND WITH MY RIGHTEOUS FEMININE WRATH, I THUS RENDER WALKING, SUBTLE MAKEUP AND PLEASANT DEMEANOR OBSOLETE.
Back to, sigh, resolutions. I made one. I have this thing about the Fours. In which I deem a day successful wherein I have some accomplishment in one of the following four areas, annotated with how I have done today, which is Jan 2, AKA a day when most people are managing to stick to their resolutions.
1. Physical. I went to the gym today, dammit. I did a weight-lifting cycle wherein each particular muscle could be considered adequately worked out if I needed to make a weird face to get to the end of a set of 10. The weird face rule is mine. It is not endorsed by any medical professionals. But you're welcome to it. I'd also like to do something about this flat, white 49 yr old ass somewhere in 2019. But, I really think genetics are against me on this one.
2. Domestic. Gurl. I did laundry and washed the dog. Sure, I may have paid a lady to do the bulk of the housecleaning today. But it counts. Washing the dog is a pain in my rapidly deteriorating ovaries. I mean, not literally, But I'm all for "ovary" replacing "balls" in all cliches because female reproductive organs are mighty and balls are weak and the fact that we keep letting men pretend that "balls" (which are FAMOUSLY tender and easy to injure) means "strong" is responsible for at least 37% of the patriarchy.
3. Professional. Ugh. This is my least favorite because my job involves a lot of spreadsheets these days. I'm not saying there's not a real sense of accomplishment that comes with wrangling a series of disparate tasks and responsibilities, making other people's day go a little more smoothly, etc; but if I had a time machine I might go back and be someone who takes care of people. I like people (can't you tell from my dulcet, perimenopausal ((ITS A WORD, GOOGLE!)) tone?). And I like taking care of people. Corporate America offers good healthcare and good money (which is how I can afford to pay a lady to clean my house) - but it can feel empty, can't it? Anyway, I got to InBox 0 today. That's an accomplishment, especially after a long break.
4. Creative. I'd like to give myself a break and say that playing the piano or reading counts. But I don't think it does. I think I need to write things down to really exercise my creative muscle. And I would very much, this year, like to write stories. Not that these giffy collections of attempted hilarity aren't creative exercises. But it would be better to tell a story, I think. I just feel story-depleted. Is this a side effect of perimenopause? Does perimenopause cause a deficit of patience, your period to go haywire and story depletion? Someone should warn a gal.
Anyway, I resolve in 2019 to try and hit The Four every day. To write stories and work on my body and keep my professional and personal houses in order.
Of course, if I could find three other like-minded ladies it may render all of this moot., Hit me up if you're into it, but I get to be Fairuza Balk!
